Who can I impress today? ME!!!

Right, so here it is: I am done.

Tweet this!: I am soooo freaking done with needing to prove ANYTHING, to ANYONE, including to myself.

Shit, I have nothing else left to freaking prove. I HAVE DONE IT!

. Get a proper, grown up job right out of high school, like literally midway through the summer “vacation”, even before final exam results were out – Check

. Get literally tracked down by my high school a year after I left, to come back for a term as a substitute English and English Literature teacher for EVERY grade level except the final year students – Check

. Run a national, UNDP funded non profit by invitation at 21, clean up my predecessor’s mess and tick off the outstanding activities from the organisation’s 5 year strategic plan – Check!

. Earn a fellowship to the UNFPA hq in New York at 22 and represent the entire Western Hemisphere as the first non Latino youth (and only ever, pregnant fellow lol) – Check!

. Birth a work of art in human form right after my UNFPA fellowship ended and stay at home with her for her entire first year of life – Check

. Finally leave a relationship characterised by gross disrespect and abuse and 3 hospital stays, in order to be able to focus on my child – Check

. Raise an amazing, funny and sarcastic (sigh), polite, engaging, healthy eating, creative, CHALLENGING child on my own for the last many years – Check

. Register my 2nd business in 2011 and achieve a monthly income of between $24,000 – $30,000 in Interactive Marketing and Social Media with NO degree, by 2013 (ALL by referral) – Check!!

. Tour 4 states and numerous cities and meet with countless non profit and state leaders in the US, at the behest of the US State Dept – Check.

. Attend an international youth and students’ festival in Venezuela, on the hospitality of Chavez – Check

. Travel to Toronto from the US on a complimentary Canadian VISA – Check

. Attend the inaugural UN Global Youth Leadership Summit and sit in my country’s UN bench (priceless) – Check

. Coordinate backstage, artiste area and VIP from scratch to end of event for one of our Carnival’s biggest parties (Army Fete) – Check

. Guest lecture on global Marketing trends to a group of Masters candidates at our national university, WITHOUT having a degree – Check

. Help grow a carnival section over 5 years from a medium section to the largest all inclusive section within the band, then to a carnival band of its own – Check

. Harness the power of social media to hub the biggest civil society/regional corporation response partnership in recent history, by partnering with one Ian Royer (who coordinated on the ground) to assist the thousands affected by mass flooding in Diego Martin a few years ago – Check

. Travel throughout the Caribbean and to London, representing my country at various civil society meetings and conferences over the years – Check

. Dine with country and UN ambassadors – Check

. Give a feature presentation at a special UNFPA seminar – Check

. Singlehandedly MC a welcome ceremony in Toronto for an international youth conference and subsequently receive a UNFPA letter of commendation – Check.

. 3rd in the country in our national high school entrance exam at age 10 – Check

. Have a growing list of people who have thanked me over the years for inspiring them, standing up for them or helping to positively change their life perspective in some way – Check

. Have a list of SME clients whose businesses have benefited from my offering of a totally new perspective on getting things done (backed up by data) – Check

. Founded the professional fb group Caribbean Social + Digital Media Practitioners back in 2012 and grew it to over 120 regional members, then handed it over to a new manager – Check

. Meet Alicia Keys, Lisa Nichols, Will Smith and Nicki Minaj and other celebrities – Check

. Yadda…yadda….fricking yadda

See, the thing is that unless YOU are filled up inside…aaaallll that ^^, yes, AAAALL those things, are empty.

You are trapped by your lack of self worth and self love, in a cycle of needing the approval of others (instead of of your self). There is a permanent subconscious question that you live with: ” Who can I impress today?” and THAT drives your “success”.

Except….when will it end?

When do you live and work for YOU? For your pat on the back…from YOU? For YOUR Happiness and Fulfillment and FROM a place of deep Self Love and Self Worth?

Ever???

When will you feel free to stop running on the hamster wheel, chasing the “great job”, building the next hottest startup, the millions? When will you no longer keep chasing the external validation, while being convinced that it’s really what you want?

When will you STOP and decide what would TRULY make YOU proud of yourself???

Me? While “the world” are busy “getting it”, “pumping”, “grinding” and “stacking bills”, I’ll be sitting on the beach, enjoying my daughter, reading enlightening books + articles, sharing goodness on facebook, watching movies and helping others to live more conscious, soulful and awake lives, in whatever way I can.

Why? Because when I asked my Soul how much money I needed to make for it to be deeply happy, it answered “I give not one fuck. . .”.

Tweet this!: It’s moments of connection and beauty and helping others, that Life’s richness is made of, NOT money and stuff”.

I am sooo good with that.