A piece of my story

Before we begin, please note that these are pics I screenshotted from online, so the quality is out of my control.

Ok, so story time:

The pic on the left was me in either late 2004 or early 2005. I was vivacious, young, happy and LOVING life! The pic on the right was me in July 2005.

By September 2005, I would have what onlookers thought was an epileptic fit in the middle of Caracas, get rushed to the Military hospital (don’t ask) and spend a night there comatose… well, more like vegetable…. I was conscious, but couldn’t move any of my body, couldn’t control my eyes (they were literally rolling around in my head), I couldn’t feel pain or any sensation really, and God knows what else. Basically, my nervous centers were shutting down one by one and the doctors couldn’t figure out why.

I spent that night crying and begging and bargaining with God to let me walk again, alone in that hospital room where none of the staff spoke my language.

Clearly I’m fine now and looking better than ever! 😁😁😁 But I’ll tell you what happened then….
It’s funny how if you look at the pic on the right you can CLEARLY SEE that I’m not ok! But when you don’t love yourself and you’ve been in deep pain for years and this shit that you’re in is just another episode in your pain series . . . You don’t notice things like that!

So yes, I was chubby (and possibly pregnant, because I had a miscarriage out of nowhere in December 2005 and only knew it when I ended up hospitalized because I’d lost so much blood . . .again in a hospital bed by myself), and my face actually looks DISTORTED!!! **And I know it’s not the camera because the person I cropped out of the pic looked perfectly like themselves lol**. But… who knew??? And of course, I was alienated from most of my friends and speaking to neither of my parents and . . .

Bottomline… when you don’t love yourself, you end up with partners who don’t love themselves or you either. So you end up in even MORE pain, grief, tragedy, drama, stress, etc etc.

This… THIS is why I go SO hard for women to UNDERSTAND and CHERISH themselves and their VALUE!!! This is why I go SO hard explaining what fuckboys and males behave and sound like. THIS is why I LOVE MYSELF SO HARD!!! I HAD to learn to… it LITERALLY was a life or death decision.

So, now you know. 🙃

Peace + Light

KAramel

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