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We’ve all heard the saying “A hurt woman will always push a good man away, because she is not accustomed to being treated well”.
This is true.
This is true, IF she doesn’t deal with her hurt and set it down.
However,
IF a sister makes the choice to OWN that she allowed herself to be mistreated the second, third, fourth….times in past relationships, then she takes the next step and decides to RAISE her self love bar and her boundaries (this usually happens automatically after her self love gets better), then she’ll be looking for the man who will treat her well, because she now sees herself as THAT valuable.
At this point, sisters usually say “But where will I find him, because the good men are either all married, gay or under-aged.”
Sigh.
They exist.
But just the way that they love themselves, is the same way they are only gonna step to women who ALSO love themselves – fully and wholly.
The brothers ain’t got time for anything else. How am I soooo sure? Well, because I had to go through the process I described above, to start seeing them and attracting them.
Why is that process so necessary?
Well, hurt changes the lens through which you see the world, and it also makes you prone to more hurt, as your self worth slips lower and lower down the bar. Imagine the warped view of the world therefore, that those of us who grew up in families where we were routinely hurt, are operating with. Imagine the warped way that women who have been in one awful relationship after another, are seeing the world, with their scratched and cracked lenses, after years of hurt.
How to fix it?
It takes work to first heal the wounds and dissolve the hurt, then to begin the work of raising the self love and self worth bar. And remember, it’s not as easy as “Well just make a different choice! Choose better men!”. That’s easy for people who grew up being Loved to say, but if you were never taught HOW to Love, then you don’t know how. If you were never taught to value you, then you don’t know how. How then can you accurately assess who CAN?
And then, unhealed and with low self worth and low self value and low boundaries, and with that bad assessment of who CAN Love you, you’re like an addict, choosing the hurt and the pain over and over and over and…..
Most women never attract or even SEE good men, because until we go through that process of healing and then Loving ourselves, we have a hurt signal we send off and the good men steer clear. Added to that, until you do the work, many of them (the good men, who are everywhere by the way) seem boring or too goody goody, or puppy dog cute *rolling eyes* and all the other labels we give men who aren’t the types we’re accustomed to (you know, the types who have BEEN hurting us. Yep, the ones we KEEP going back to like a dog scratching a cut so it never heals? You know what I mean).
On the other hand, when you do your own work – heal your hurt and raise your self love bar, he just needs to be a GOOD man and treat you like a queen; he doesn’t need to be cool, popular, or any other label…just good.
If you’ve had enough pain, you’re ready to do your healing work and need Coaching, I can help you. Find out more about VIP Life Success Coaching at https://linktr.ee/teamviplife and see if I might be the right Coach for you.
KAramel
